Year In Review??
Hi, right now you are probably wondering why I haven’t sent anything in awhile. Or probably not, every single one of you might not even notice that I have been gone. It’s fine, just one of the things I hope to change soon.
It’s the end of the year, and even though I am not a big fan of the new year and the ish that comes with it (new year resolutions, promising to become a new person, the greetings and the celebrations). I do concede that this might be the best opportunity to review how the year was.
My 2022 was absolutely abysmal. Well, at least according to the completely realistic goals I set for myself. It wasn’t going to be my year, but the year that will prepare me for the future. So in a way, I was right. As cliche as it might sound, this year I loved and I learned. I fell in love with books (all over again) and found a new love in Formula One.
In a way, my self discovery journey took an interesting turn this year. Rather than just being introspective and thinking to myself about the things that I want, the things that made me tick. I decided to open myself up to the uncertainties. My relationship with friends and family. My dreams. My relationship with myself. And most importantly, what direction I want to take.
I haven’t completely figured out everything, just about enough to keep on moving. I realize that sometimes you love people, but you know you have to keep your distance from them. Will not go further into this.
Also, the culture of respect at all cost is disgusting. I will probably end up paying a shit ton of money on therapy because of what someone did or didn't do but I should respect them regardless because of biology.
I realize that no one is ever going to be there for you. People would prefer you keep your sufferings silent and secret, and when you do something drastic they go all; “You should have talked to me about it” as if the last time I did you didn't try to gaslight me into thinking it was all in my head. I tried talking about my pains without downplaying it's effects for once and all everyone could see was just a disrespectful boy.
I also learnt that there is so much to live for. Life is an adventure. An adventure that you get to decide what you want it to be.
This shouldn't make you think I am in bad place😂. This is actually the best I can remember feeling in a while.
Now I know what I have to do. I will play the game, as disgusting as it is and trust me I will be the best to ever do it.
This is more of a rant ad less of a year in review. See you next month