What does it mean to be alive?
It’s 1:34AM and I am having one of those nights. The type where I am fully in tune with the Universe, with the beauty that is Life. That was when the voice asked; “What does it mean to be alive?”
“It’s simple, to be alive is to feel every moment. Enjoy the beauty around us. To be alive is to chase after your dreams, wildly.”
The Voice smiled. I have never seen them smile like, ever. It was a sly smile. The type that says; “You are wrong, and about to be schooled by a bunch of imaginary figures.”
But that was not what it means to be alive. To do that is to simply live.
Being alive happens only in the tiny moments, the ones that will slip out of your hands like sand if you are not careful. The frightening thoughts at the back of your mind that silently springs alive as you stare at the knife on the counter-table and your heart starts beating faster. The one that creeps in when you are all alone, trying to force yourself out of the bed asking you “What is the point?” Your heartbeat increasing as you stare at the world and laughed like a maniac, daring it to do its worst, because in that moment life means nothing to you. It is the intrusive thoughts that creeps into your head when you’re depressed; “Jump, and it will all be over.” The voice that whispers to you how great you are. “Go on, nothing can stop. The world is yours to own, to burn.” That is what it means to be alive.
Breathing simply means you are living. That you get to see another day and decide if you want to do you. Everyone lives, but not everyone is alive. It is the moment of intense, fire-hot emotions that makes us alive. To be alive is to watch fire burn, see the flames dance to the song of the Universe, and for a moment; wish to be consumed by it.
Living is flying close to the sun with wings made of wax like Icarus. To be alive is to come crashing down to earth when the scared Apollo caused the heat of the vengeful sun to melt your wings but you are smiling, because in that moment you are the boy who frightened a god, the one who flew to the sun. Being alive is not creating the music, but rather dancing to the music.
Life, it is a gift from the gods. But to be alive, that is a curse from the Devil.
You just dey blow my mindd