Don’t you ever get tired of it all? The constant trudging and toiling. The holding out unto hope that one day it will all make sense and pay off. The belief that there is a bigger picture out there – that you are meant to be a piece of the puzzle. Why do you wake up on the dark days and still choose to follow that your dream. What is stopping you from giving up? Is it ego, pride, or something else?
Lately, I have been contemplating the art of surrendering. Throwing in the towel, knowing you have given all you have to give and it did not amount to anything. Every single drop of energy, willpower, gone into it. It sounds crazy, yet at this point there is no more hope for you to hold on to. In that moment you make a decision — do you perish like a dog or do you fight? Yet what if you choose to perish like a dog?
Is knowing when you have tried your best and there is no more to give, no strength to run a couple more miles such a terrible thing? Life is a race but you have to stop running at some point, and accept that you have reach your limit.
I am not writing this to be inspirational. Not here to tell you to embrace your weakness because we are human. Accepting your limitations doesn’t make you stronger. We are weak, no matter how you want to spin it. So, maybe it isn’t always worth it. Trying and trying and trying. Screaming into the void because nothing seems to work. Maybe nothing will ever work, and you will spend the whole time becoming what you always dread; a failure.
N.B: This is sort of journal entry for myself alone. Don’t listen to it.